Disney has killed the porn industry.

Hello.

   I was in the square earlier today. "But it's not square, it's a rectangle!" is my younger daughter's observation every time we go. So, I was in the square and the topic turned to porn. The usual "What would be your porno name?" ensued. Basically, one needs to apply the simple rule: first teddy + mother's maiden name. I, having an Italian father, could have been the next Stallone. Or Siffredi. But my mother is Irish.

   My first teddy, having a father from the Alps, was a St. Bernard. I named him Barry. After the most famous of his breed. A dog who saved over 40 lives. A story I found fascinating. And still do. So, the answer to the acting name is 'Barry McGreal'. Who would watch a film starring Barry McGreal? I knew from very early on, with a name like that, I would never be a porn star. But, being a father of two girls, I also realised that in about fifteen years time all 'actresses' will be called Elsa or Anna or Rapunzel or Moana. Because as parents we tend to buy the little rotters the teddies they want. Thanks, Disney! Thanks for killing imagination! On the upside, my eldest daughter called her first teddy 'Space Monkey', so I can't see that name popping up in any future films. Because in the end...

...it's all a load of Bovine Skittles!